What I think is going on in my husbands mind.
Day 1- Working from home
A perfect working environment.
Calm
Peaceful
Dressed for success in sweat pants, stained t-shirt and slippers.
And calm and peaceful goes out the window 5 minutes before you waking- the exact time the kids start slapping my face and jumping up and down on our bed.
8 am conference call- lock myself in the bedroom and the kids morning laughter and running feet stay at bay.
10 am conference call-the kids are louder and are being shooed across the house.
12:30- boss calls- kids are yelling, screaming and crying. My call will be undisturbed in my car, in my driveway. I don't look awkward sitting in my car, in my pajamas in my driveway talking to myself in 40 degree weather.
This can't keep up- I am the king of this house.
Day 2-
Pajamas,
Look busy so kids don't bother me today because if they do I'm going to snap!
9:30 conference call- kids being kids are loud- backyard is somewhat quieter but freezing.
1:30 meeting- house is too loud so...
"Liz CAN YOU HELP, I NEED TO BE ON THE PHONE, CAN YOU DO SOMETHING!"
2:00 shower, change, run an errand.
Get home look busy.
Day 3-
Give me a break! IT'S TOO DAMN LOUD IN HERE. GO PLAY OUTSIDE. LIZ!!
WORK, COMPLAIN, WORK, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, tired of kids and work. Why isn't Liz doing everything, and quieter, and faster and neater and why is she complaining at me, I do remember you just don't tell me, damn kids, I need to work from work tomorrow.
Day 4-Assigned to a project for a few days in another state-finally a break!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
SIck Baby
Bad enough is the pain stacking issue of treating a sick child. Especially when life goes on around you and including having a healthy kid and husband go on with their regular days. It makes sleeping impossible and smiling a ridiculous notion.
I turn into the beast formerly known as mommy.
Right now our toddler is CRANKY!
He just goes around saying "mama" on repeat in a shrill voice and every 15 seconds throwing an object for emphasis. Obviously inept at deciphering a sick child's screeching desires I just stare, try to get him to be quiet then give up. Eventually, if I stop looking at him he will go away or get really, REALLY loud.
How can I have patience after getting 4 hours of sleep the previous night , with about 45 minutes of those being in a rocking chair, rocking. Argh! Then last night waking up every hour to tell him to stop hitting my face or trying to stick his fingers in my mouth- why should he be the only one with a contagious virus?
This morning while trying to get some sleep- since I'm not getting any at night- the crying, whining, uncomfortably ill toddler snuggles up with me while drinking his only source of nutrition and then suddenly and without malice he spews the contents of his mouth and stomach into my hair and on my bare neck.
...I smell like nutrient shake and warmness. My hair looks like a mangled mess in one bunch to the top of my head. Like a a birds nest perched on my head. So now what? I can't jump up and shower. I can't stand to shower while that little ick thing is crying his head off so I just go one with clump hair.
At least all I have to get done today is...return items to the library, go to the pharmacy, buy more Lysol antibacterial wipes, clean house for party tomorrow, shower, do several loads of laundry, call mom, get some actual work done -sewing and inventory-, make dinner, clean backyard, cry, scream, melt down, drink wine, deal with sick baby, play with healthy child and not give up on life--NOT MUCH!
I turn into the beast formerly known as mommy.
Right now our toddler is CRANKY!
He just goes around saying "mama" on repeat in a shrill voice and every 15 seconds throwing an object for emphasis. Obviously inept at deciphering a sick child's screeching desires I just stare, try to get him to be quiet then give up. Eventually, if I stop looking at him he will go away or get really, REALLY loud.
How can I have patience after getting 4 hours of sleep the previous night , with about 45 minutes of those being in a rocking chair, rocking. Argh! Then last night waking up every hour to tell him to stop hitting my face or trying to stick his fingers in my mouth- why should he be the only one with a contagious virus?
This morning while trying to get some sleep- since I'm not getting any at night- the crying, whining, uncomfortably ill toddler snuggles up with me while drinking his only source of nutrition and then suddenly and without malice he spews the contents of his mouth and stomach into my hair and on my bare neck.
...I smell like nutrient shake and warmness. My hair looks like a mangled mess in one bunch to the top of my head. Like a a birds nest perched on my head. So now what? I can't jump up and shower. I can't stand to shower while that little ick thing is crying his head off so I just go one with clump hair.
At least all I have to get done today is...return items to the library, go to the pharmacy, buy more Lysol antibacterial wipes, clean house for party tomorrow, shower, do several loads of laundry, call mom, get some actual work done -sewing and inventory-, make dinner, clean backyard, cry, scream, melt down, drink wine, deal with sick baby, play with healthy child and not give up on life--NOT MUCH!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Shower
Quiet, calm and clean. I enter my warm shower, my mind wanders as my body gets to relax. I think of it as a spa- I breath and relish in the tranquility.
Within moments along the shower curtain I sense something.
Long fingers, one by one grasp the curtain and slowly move it back a tad. Then more, until one eye is visible. I look into the eye and then a whole face emerges, looking at me longingly yet solemn. Quiet and calm are about to escape the shower, the bathroom and perhaps the whole house.
Get out of mommies shower! I yell.
Shrill yells begin as my toddler tries even harder to convince me that he needs to be in my shower.
"Agua" he says.
"No, its mommies shower -no water- get out."
He doesn't leave and I'm not giving in.
We go back and forth until he gets distracted by some toys I throw at him. I hope to get 5 more minutes and the water is getting cold.
He plays in a bucket of water with a squeeze toy and bottle of almost empty baby wash. He slaps the water and makes a mess all over the clean bathroom. My rug is soaked, my kid is soaked and my serene surroundings now look like a tiny tot water park.
When play time is no longer enough, he pulls back my shower curtain again and yells, while trying to lift one leg high enough to enter the tub.
"Get out!" Mommy needs to take shower by herself- leave me alone."
He cries, and cries, and because I didn't do anything about said crying he cries louder.
I haven't had a quiet, complete shower in 3 years. I'm lucky when I can remove the children from my hip long enough to get a shower in. I shouldn't be surprised.
Within moments along the shower curtain I sense something.
Long fingers, one by one grasp the curtain and slowly move it back a tad. Then more, until one eye is visible. I look into the eye and then a whole face emerges, looking at me longingly yet solemn. Quiet and calm are about to escape the shower, the bathroom and perhaps the whole house.
Get out of mommies shower! I yell.
Shrill yells begin as my toddler tries even harder to convince me that he needs to be in my shower.
"Agua" he says.
"No, its mommies shower -no water- get out."
He doesn't leave and I'm not giving in.
We go back and forth until he gets distracted by some toys I throw at him. I hope to get 5 more minutes and the water is getting cold.
He plays in a bucket of water with a squeeze toy and bottle of almost empty baby wash. He slaps the water and makes a mess all over the clean bathroom. My rug is soaked, my kid is soaked and my serene surroundings now look like a tiny tot water park.
When play time is no longer enough, he pulls back my shower curtain again and yells, while trying to lift one leg high enough to enter the tub.
"Get out!" Mommy needs to take shower by herself- leave me alone."
He cries, and cries, and because I didn't do anything about said crying he cries louder.
I haven't had a quiet, complete shower in 3 years. I'm lucky when I can remove the children from my hip long enough to get a shower in. I shouldn't be surprised.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Hairryyyyy
Let's just say that I like to be eco-friendly and do my part. In high school I found out that my favorite and fantastic deodorant/antiperspirant was testing on animals and I gave it up forever. I like to help with things that I can do without making life altering changes. I am not going to live in a tent or be hairy but really that isn't necessary. It's the little things that make large impacts.
Recently I changed from disposable razors to those with just the replaceable heads being disposable (instead of the arm and razor) so I can lessen the landfill impact or use less water and oil for creation or re-creation.
Little change but it could reduce my waste and really not change my lifestyle too much.
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Pivoting razors don't like my body. It doesn't work for me- I ended up looking like Bigfoots prettier sister.
Some how I noticed one day that there were long airs under my pits. What! I started shaving when I was 9, long before I needed to just to avoid this! And someone did notice- my hubby on fact said "I thought you were trying something new" eco-friendly natural sunscreen is trying something new, but being hairy is a whole other dedication. How do you not say something? Just an FYI even.
From that point on I stared while shaving until my eyes went cross and then shaved some more. The only way my pivoting razor would get the hair was to shave my skin off- ouch!
Next, camping where showering isn't a priority but still was done. After 2 days on the beaches in a swimsuit and 2 showers with shaving (lucky to get in this family especially when camping) and then one at home - I spied a disaster! In the car sitting cross legged waiting for the hubby to take our family somewhere- I studied my legs and found...the backs of my legs had hair on them. Not stubble, not ultra fine blond 'hair' (which I don't even get since I have dark hair and think my family must be the connection to modern man and the missing link)but chubby 6 year old hairy legs. Yikes! Are you kidding me- what the hell was the razor doing while going up and down my legs with soap, water and at times shaving cream- dancing? It was working about as well as shaving with the cap on.
Forget it- I will change some other thing in my life but at this point I am destined to buy disposable razors again. And I did! And now my legs are soft, smooth and look like I shaved rather than starting my winter coat.
Recently I changed from disposable razors to those with just the replaceable heads being disposable (instead of the arm and razor) so I can lessen the landfill impact or use less water and oil for creation or re-creation.
Little change but it could reduce my waste and really not change my lifestyle too much.
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Pivoting razors don't like my body. It doesn't work for me- I ended up looking like Bigfoots prettier sister.
Some how I noticed one day that there were long airs under my pits. What! I started shaving when I was 9, long before I needed to just to avoid this! And someone did notice- my hubby on fact said "I thought you were trying something new" eco-friendly natural sunscreen is trying something new, but being hairy is a whole other dedication. How do you not say something? Just an FYI even.
From that point on I stared while shaving until my eyes went cross and then shaved some more. The only way my pivoting razor would get the hair was to shave my skin off- ouch!
Next, camping where showering isn't a priority but still was done. After 2 days on the beaches in a swimsuit and 2 showers with shaving (lucky to get in this family especially when camping) and then one at home - I spied a disaster! In the car sitting cross legged waiting for the hubby to take our family somewhere- I studied my legs and found...the backs of my legs had hair on them. Not stubble, not ultra fine blond 'hair' (which I don't even get since I have dark hair and think my family must be the connection to modern man and the missing link)but chubby 6 year old hairy legs. Yikes! Are you kidding me- what the hell was the razor doing while going up and down my legs with soap, water and at times shaving cream- dancing? It was working about as well as shaving with the cap on.
Forget it- I will change some other thing in my life but at this point I am destined to buy disposable razors again. And I did! And now my legs are soft, smooth and look like I shaved rather than starting my winter coat.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
WWWHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
0k, really- the thing is I am pretty tired of being a diaper changer/mess cleaner. Somehow, I don't think my boys are ready to hear that though.
When should I broach the subject?
Yesterday at the mere idea of dirty diapers and needing to see 0 of them, the baby pooped. The poop was so bad that...when I removed him from his booster seat in the kitchen it began to ooze out of his shorts and down his leg and hubby had to remove the seat and hose it down in the yard. Gross!
I ran into the bedroom with baby held as far away from me and my arms reach could go, I even though about stretching first, but it didn't help. After I removed his offensive clothing and diapers it was everywhere.
I put him in the shower and began cleaning the clothing when what did I notice...my shirt was dirty too! Ahh,eww and yuck! Hubby comes in to check on gross baby and says: "You have crap on your arm."
I leave the children and dart after him scaring him with my poop covered torso.
So, after all is said and cleaned how do I let this family know I'm tired of dealing with the poo and that we all need to move on? I mean the baby is 15 months old already- come on have some decency. He's practically an adult, really.
When should I broach the subject?
Yesterday at the mere idea of dirty diapers and needing to see 0 of them, the baby pooped. The poop was so bad that...when I removed him from his booster seat in the kitchen it began to ooze out of his shorts and down his leg and hubby had to remove the seat and hose it down in the yard. Gross!
I ran into the bedroom with baby held as far away from me and my arms reach could go, I even though about stretching first, but it didn't help. After I removed his offensive clothing and diapers it was everywhere.
I put him in the shower and began cleaning the clothing when what did I notice...my shirt was dirty too! Ahh,eww and yuck! Hubby comes in to check on gross baby and says: "You have crap on your arm."
I leave the children and dart after him scaring him with my poop covered torso.
So, after all is said and cleaned how do I let this family know I'm tired of dealing with the poo and that we all need to move on? I mean the baby is 15 months old already- come on have some decency. He's practically an adult, really.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sick time
It seems to me that I am not allowed to have fun without my kids or I pay the price of...getting sick and being alone said children.
Toddler is sick, preschooler is well into recovery and me- I get sick too! Unfortunately, small children do not like to rest, just whine!
So here I am day two of being dizzy and nauseous all day with a screamer and a 'tired of being inside-er.' I can't rest but am tired over not sleeping all night dealing with the the screaming baby. He kicked, screamed, pulled hair and hacked up his lungs all night. Poor baby and poor me!
Life doesn't stop- so to get better I kept making myself tea, homemade chicken soup for all and cleaned the windows, swept the floors, vacuumed tortilla chip and cracker crumbs, put toys away, changed diapers, made breakfast, wash dishes that didn't fit into the dishwasher, unloaded the dishwasher and forced the baby to take a nap and the preschooler to rest so I could grab a cat nap.
This didn't help one bit!! I was so sick and tired that by the time my hubby got home I burst out into tears.
His response:"What's the problem with you?"
Really "What's the problem?" I'M SICK Motherfucker! But, I didn't really say that-just cried more and gave him a hug that wasn't returned!!!
I even got stuck with dirty diaper duty. Then had to clean the kitchen after dinner.
Don't I ever get a break.
Wait... I did and am convinced that enjoying myself with friends and no children led to this sickness-damn circle of pain.
Toddler is sick, preschooler is well into recovery and me- I get sick too! Unfortunately, small children do not like to rest, just whine!
So here I am day two of being dizzy and nauseous all day with a screamer and a 'tired of being inside-er.' I can't rest but am tired over not sleeping all night dealing with the the screaming baby. He kicked, screamed, pulled hair and hacked up his lungs all night. Poor baby and poor me!
Life doesn't stop- so to get better I kept making myself tea, homemade chicken soup for all and cleaned the windows, swept the floors, vacuumed tortilla chip and cracker crumbs, put toys away, changed diapers, made breakfast, wash dishes that didn't fit into the dishwasher, unloaded the dishwasher and forced the baby to take a nap and the preschooler to rest so I could grab a cat nap.
This didn't help one bit!! I was so sick and tired that by the time my hubby got home I burst out into tears.
His response:"What's the problem with you?"
Really "What's the problem?" I'M SICK Motherfucker! But, I didn't really say that-just cried more and gave him a hug that wasn't returned!!!
I even got stuck with dirty diaper duty. Then had to clean the kitchen after dinner.
Don't I ever get a break.
Wait... I did and am convinced that enjoying myself with friends and no children led to this sickness-damn circle of pain.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Poop, Poop and more POOP!
Funny how my job is 1/4 poop cleaning and 3/4 everything else. It really is gross. Like today for instance we were eating lunch and the baby pooped. And with face still red, pooped again. The I ran him into his room and onto the changing table but it was too late. Poop was oozing out the slides of his diaper and down his legs to his feet. He was wearing pants and a bodysuit so- he also got lathered in poop as I tried to gently remove the encased pants and bodysuit.
I immediately cleaned his as best I could and stuck him in the shower. Then I proceeded to rinse the poop out of his clothing in my bathroom sink. Chunks got stuck in my drain- um ...excuse me- but I think someone forgot to call Hazmat? Do I get hazard pay for this? Someone, hello?
This comes a few days after doing the boys wash. While putting their clothes in the dryer I noticed they smelled like poop. Back in the wash they went and this time no smell. The load of laundry following went in and no problems- as I was removing the clothing a sock got stuck in the outer ring. I yanked it out and found...two pieces of washed poop. Someone must have had an accident and ditched the underwear before telling mommy. Those clever three year olds- always making life easier for mommy.
Ohh- I need some long yellow eco friendly cleaning clothes and a whole lot of eco cleanser and some bleach and maybe a maid, a remodel and moving- this is disgusting.
I immediately cleaned his as best I could and stuck him in the shower. Then I proceeded to rinse the poop out of his clothing in my bathroom sink. Chunks got stuck in my drain- um ...excuse me- but I think someone forgot to call Hazmat? Do I get hazard pay for this? Someone, hello?
This comes a few days after doing the boys wash. While putting their clothes in the dryer I noticed they smelled like poop. Back in the wash they went and this time no smell. The load of laundry following went in and no problems- as I was removing the clothing a sock got stuck in the outer ring. I yanked it out and found...two pieces of washed poop. Someone must have had an accident and ditched the underwear before telling mommy. Those clever three year olds- always making life easier for mommy.
Ohh- I need some long yellow eco friendly cleaning clothes and a whole lot of eco cleanser and some bleach and maybe a maid, a remodel and moving- this is disgusting.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I need a whole to recover in...
How can so much happen in one day? Well apparently all you need is to be me and my household.
My toe is still throbbing after breaking in while off camping. No big deal as long as I get some ibuprofen and a couple of glasses of wine. So this makes it difficult at 11am while trying to feed the kids and get the preschooler off to school. But, I suck it up and move on.
Shortly after I drop off my preschooler I get rear ended by an uninsured motorist and for some reason, some how our registration etc. is in an big white envelope...at home!
Great, wait around and get no help beautiful! The entire time the baby is trying to run out into traffic, my toes is trying to double in size and I am supposed to be on a call. So exciting.
I finally get readjusted, am so behind in camping cleaning but we all made it home. I get a call to interview and cannot find anyone to watch the rug rats while I'm gone. Like I need motivation not weasel out of working outside the home. I rather get my business running but my husband has this weird fascination with having enough money to get the business running and keep the kids fed, rent paid etc.
Later that evening my mom figures to someone to babysit the kids- problems solved, the day is looking up. Hubby comes home, kids are fed and are being put in the shower. There we are all in the bathroom withe the monkey in the shower and the toddler trying to get in. Monkey doesn't want the toddler in and they begin fighting about it. Bam! Before our eyes but not seeing anything the monkey falls, hits his chin on the tub wall and splits it open.
So 3 year old Monkey and I are back in the ER for 3 hours getting 3 stitches. We are there so late that he calms down, plays and falls asleep after his stitches while I was still waiting for paper work. I said back because the cracked arm of his a couple of months ago.
Next time Daddy is taking him to the ER, I don't want CPS called because of my little dare devil.
So, the lesson plan and work I needed to do for the interview- pushed off, dinner doesn't get eaten, sleep needed. As soon as I get home baby wakes up crying and is up not allowing me to eat a full snack. Thanks.
This morning the baby drops the remote on my broken toe, the monkey won't eat and I still haven't written my lesson plan for my interview in 4 hours.
But, I'm still hoping for good luck...
while typing this blog my toddler pooped through his diaper and pj's, down his leg, and touched it. Yum. While cleaning him a raisin fell out of his dirty diaper- would that be a raisin from breakfast or a digested poop covered raisin??????
I need a hole to crawl into and recover and have a coffee. And by coffee I mean tequila.
My toe is still throbbing after breaking in while off camping. No big deal as long as I get some ibuprofen and a couple of glasses of wine. So this makes it difficult at 11am while trying to feed the kids and get the preschooler off to school. But, I suck it up and move on.
Shortly after I drop off my preschooler I get rear ended by an uninsured motorist and for some reason, some how our registration etc. is in an big white envelope...at home!
Great, wait around and get no help beautiful! The entire time the baby is trying to run out into traffic, my toes is trying to double in size and I am supposed to be on a call. So exciting.
I finally get readjusted, am so behind in camping cleaning but we all made it home. I get a call to interview and cannot find anyone to watch the rug rats while I'm gone. Like I need motivation not weasel out of working outside the home. I rather get my business running but my husband has this weird fascination with having enough money to get the business running and keep the kids fed, rent paid etc.
Later that evening my mom figures to someone to babysit the kids- problems solved, the day is looking up. Hubby comes home, kids are fed and are being put in the shower. There we are all in the bathroom withe the monkey in the shower and the toddler trying to get in. Monkey doesn't want the toddler in and they begin fighting about it. Bam! Before our eyes but not seeing anything the monkey falls, hits his chin on the tub wall and splits it open.
So 3 year old Monkey and I are back in the ER for 3 hours getting 3 stitches. We are there so late that he calms down, plays and falls asleep after his stitches while I was still waiting for paper work. I said back because the cracked arm of his a couple of months ago.
Next time Daddy is taking him to the ER, I don't want CPS called because of my little dare devil.
So, the lesson plan and work I needed to do for the interview- pushed off, dinner doesn't get eaten, sleep needed. As soon as I get home baby wakes up crying and is up not allowing me to eat a full snack. Thanks.
This morning the baby drops the remote on my broken toe, the monkey won't eat and I still haven't written my lesson plan for my interview in 4 hours.
But, I'm still hoping for good luck...
while typing this blog my toddler pooped through his diaper and pj's, down his leg, and touched it. Yum. While cleaning him a raisin fell out of his dirty diaper- would that be a raisin from breakfast or a digested poop covered raisin??????
I need a hole to crawl into and recover and have a coffee. And by coffee I mean tequila.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Seriously- Can I have a minute?
Everyday -all the time same old same old-feed, clean, drive around, entertain, feed, change, bathe, cook, etc. etc.
I nag about not having time to myself.
I nag to my husband who will never get it.
I nag to my children who don't even know what I am saying.
I complain about not getting time to myself-
Monday I spent the entire day attached to my baby. Well he was attached to me and by baby I mean whining 1 year old. That high pitched whine that makes you want to jump off of a high rise onto busy Manhattan streets just to escape the noise.
*Probably the same way my husband feels about my nagging- but I have to share the wealth- right?*
The baby whined in front of me each time I had to go to the bathroom, while playing outside, while I was on the phone with my grandmother, in the car, in the play room, taking brother to preschool, you name it he did it-ALL day.
When I turned on my only sense of escape- my shower- I jumped in and there he was pulling back my curtain whining trying to get in head first.
"Give mommy a break, it's my shower" I heard myself shouting at him.
That lead to full blown crying, which lead to me picking him up and letting him join my shower. So annoying. My shower is sacred- it's the place where my brain actually works correctly and I think through things that need to get done.
Instead the baby stayed too close to me so I couldn't stand without falling. I would scoot him over and he would crawl back and whine.
Which lead to:
"STOP THE DAMN WHINING!"
Cry, cry, cry- bad mom, worst shower ever, picked him up, put him down, he huddled on the floor of the shower like a turtle.
I ended up shaving outside the shower with him slapping my ankles and unrolling my entire toilet roll.
Really- just 1 shower- is that so difficult.
With my husband working locally for a few weeks he comes home ever night- helpful or?
So when the husband got home what happened? I tried to hand the kids over but it only lasted 2 minutes. I expected him to bathe the kids and put them to bed- he put 1 to bed and left to the gym. Great if I needed half help. It's not like I was going to take that time for a 15 minutes break or anything (God forbid) just going to clean the dinner mess and fold laundry.
Maybe I never get a break and my family recognizes that I should and will surprise me with a 2 week escape on a island with no phones or children? Maybe!
Or just 1 shower in peace! Maybe?
I nag about not having time to myself.
I nag to my husband who will never get it.
I nag to my children who don't even know what I am saying.
I complain about not getting time to myself-
Monday I spent the entire day attached to my baby. Well he was attached to me and by baby I mean whining 1 year old. That high pitched whine that makes you want to jump off of a high rise onto busy Manhattan streets just to escape the noise.
*Probably the same way my husband feels about my nagging- but I have to share the wealth- right?*
The baby whined in front of me each time I had to go to the bathroom, while playing outside, while I was on the phone with my grandmother, in the car, in the play room, taking brother to preschool, you name it he did it-ALL day.
When I turned on my only sense of escape- my shower- I jumped in and there he was pulling back my curtain whining trying to get in head first.
"Give mommy a break, it's my shower" I heard myself shouting at him.
That lead to full blown crying, which lead to me picking him up and letting him join my shower. So annoying. My shower is sacred- it's the place where my brain actually works correctly and I think through things that need to get done.
Instead the baby stayed too close to me so I couldn't stand without falling. I would scoot him over and he would crawl back and whine.
Which lead to:
"STOP THE DAMN WHINING!"
Cry, cry, cry- bad mom, worst shower ever, picked him up, put him down, he huddled on the floor of the shower like a turtle.
I ended up shaving outside the shower with him slapping my ankles and unrolling my entire toilet roll.
Really- just 1 shower- is that so difficult.
With my husband working locally for a few weeks he comes home ever night- helpful or?
So when the husband got home what happened? I tried to hand the kids over but it only lasted 2 minutes. I expected him to bathe the kids and put them to bed- he put 1 to bed and left to the gym. Great if I needed half help. It's not like I was going to take that time for a 15 minutes break or anything (God forbid) just going to clean the dinner mess and fold laundry.
Maybe I never get a break and my family recognizes that I should and will surprise me with a 2 week escape on a island with no phones or children? Maybe!
Or just 1 shower in peace! Maybe?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The stink
The heat has left our house with the most foul smell that we cannot place. Our guesses- dead thing somewhere, garbage can from hell or mystery diaper. My husbands great idea was to finally take the trash out- but the smell followed and lingered en route. So, he decided to take the trash can out and hose it down. We have a front yard, we have a backyard and we have neighbors. Where does he decide to move the can... the front yard. And it's been out there all day. Do you hear banjos?
Wedding Day
Yesterday we traveled up north to a family wedding. It was already hot the moment we sat in the car (10am). We drove in relative peace, for 2 hours, (thank you God for car DVD players and portable food/ sippy cups). The wedding was beautiful, the guests were friendly, the bar was open. My boys, both dirty blond and gorgeous were all over the place, but with so much family around it was not so bad. My sister in law kept my monkey busy by asking him to go on walks with her throughout the hall- in which everyone asked if he was her son (she's blond and gorgeous so it's understandable). When she would take the baby, same question. Never once when I had the children did anyone ever ask if they were mine. Odd? (Let's just say I'm not blond...). Even when we were together- they asked her. Yeah, I could've ditched the kids with her and pretended that I still a young newlywed without kids. Wait- why didn't I do that?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Oh Crap!
Again today, poop was to set the mood of our day.
After breakfast I took the baby for a diaper change. I put my hand inside the waist of his pants to ease them off his overfilled self when something felt warm and squishy. What ever could it be? I removed clump hand of poop. So disgusting. Why does this always happen? Last night I gave him a bath- this is an immediate flag for a poop catastrophe for the following day. But, I need to bathe the kid sometime.
It got all over his pants, legs and socks. It some how missed his onesie entirely. How is this possible?
Next thing I new he was kicking his legs up and his hands were smattered with crap. Every time he moved he got more crap on his hands, legs and socks. I couldn't keep up or figure out how it was happening. I even soiled the wipes container trying to get him clean quickly.
I cleaned him, undressed him and took him to my shower.
I dried him and wrapped him in a towel and set back to his room.
When we got to the changing table it was still spotted with poo. So, trying to keep the clean baby clean I quickly wiped down the changing table before setting him down.
I thought all was well- the poop flinging was over. That is when my monkey stands between my room and theirs points to the floor and says, "Look Mommy there's gigantic dinosaur poop on the floor." I had to do a double take. I slowly sauntered up to the blob of crap on the floor. Yes, indeed-y my baby made a gigantic dinosaur poop. But how did it get on the floor by the door? Was it stuck to him on the way to the room from the kitchen? From the shower? It just didn't make any sense. The changing table is 5 steps away from the door- how did it hold on so long? Was I touching it? It's like a barn this house. I just need some hay to scatter on the floor. It might save me some time on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. And with our carpet- fibers are already falling out by walking on it- it totally loves a scrubbing.
And at the opposite side of our day- no more poo accidents. But, that hay would have come in handy. My sister was in the living room, my mom holding the baby and pacing through our small house, I in the boys room getting their clothes ready for tomorrow and the monkey sitting in my bed waiting for his breathing treatment. I heard him talking about medicine and yell to him to wait for me- knowing that he can't get to it on his own. When I got in there I didn't notice anything until after his treatment had begun.
I walk to my bathroom to throw away a container and ...cross a lake of baby Tylenol. On my sink an empty container of his brothers medicine. He attempted to take it as his own- luckily he spilled it before he could add it to his machine. I thought I had tightened it and set it far enough back so it was out for reach. I was very wrong. So, again I was on my hands and knees scrubbing up carpet. I couldn't believe the little man had done that- he had the right timing- there were essentially 3 sets of 'mommy like' eyes on him and we all missed it. What a gigantic dinosaur poop!
After breakfast I took the baby for a diaper change. I put my hand inside the waist of his pants to ease them off his overfilled self when something felt warm and squishy. What ever could it be? I removed clump hand of poop. So disgusting. Why does this always happen? Last night I gave him a bath- this is an immediate flag for a poop catastrophe for the following day. But, I need to bathe the kid sometime.
It got all over his pants, legs and socks. It some how missed his onesie entirely. How is this possible?
Next thing I new he was kicking his legs up and his hands were smattered with crap. Every time he moved he got more crap on his hands, legs and socks. I couldn't keep up or figure out how it was happening. I even soiled the wipes container trying to get him clean quickly.
I cleaned him, undressed him and took him to my shower.
I dried him and wrapped him in a towel and set back to his room.
When we got to the changing table it was still spotted with poo. So, trying to keep the clean baby clean I quickly wiped down the changing table before setting him down.
I thought all was well- the poop flinging was over. That is when my monkey stands between my room and theirs points to the floor and says, "Look Mommy there's gigantic dinosaur poop on the floor." I had to do a double take. I slowly sauntered up to the blob of crap on the floor. Yes, indeed-y my baby made a gigantic dinosaur poop. But how did it get on the floor by the door? Was it stuck to him on the way to the room from the kitchen? From the shower? It just didn't make any sense. The changing table is 5 steps away from the door- how did it hold on so long? Was I touching it? It's like a barn this house. I just need some hay to scatter on the floor. It might save me some time on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. And with our carpet- fibers are already falling out by walking on it- it totally loves a scrubbing.
And at the opposite side of our day- no more poo accidents. But, that hay would have come in handy. My sister was in the living room, my mom holding the baby and pacing through our small house, I in the boys room getting their clothes ready for tomorrow and the monkey sitting in my bed waiting for his breathing treatment. I heard him talking about medicine and yell to him to wait for me- knowing that he can't get to it on his own. When I got in there I didn't notice anything until after his treatment had begun.
I walk to my bathroom to throw away a container and ...cross a lake of baby Tylenol. On my sink an empty container of his brothers medicine. He attempted to take it as his own- luckily he spilled it before he could add it to his machine. I thought I had tightened it and set it far enough back so it was out for reach. I was very wrong. So, again I was on my hands and knees scrubbing up carpet. I couldn't believe the little man had done that- he had the right timing- there were essentially 3 sets of 'mommy like' eyes on him and we all missed it. What a gigantic dinosaur poop!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Another poopy day!
Today was quite a day. My 3 year old some how ended up with pneumonia. Great! Just what I needed- more sickness. Week 1 -about a month ago- the baby got an ear infection.
The following-week 2- we drove to Reno, played with friends in Tahoe, and had a great time in the area but 6 hours to and 5 hours fro with crying, whining kids was a personal infection of my own.
Week 3 the baby gets a double ear infection that turned into a chest infection 2 days later.
And now here we are at week 4: What do we get but a 3 year old with pneumonia. Unbelievable.
I had no idea. I actually told the kid that when he is sick he needs to look and act like it. I took him to the doctor because he said it felt like a little rock was in his ear- so I was thinking ear infection not serious chest infection. He was running! Good God I hope I notice if he ever gets anything more serious.
Here we are, inside the house trying to recuperate. I made lunch and the three year old went to the bathroom. I told him that his lunch was ready when he was and went about my way. The baby was busy snacking and it was a bit of sunshine in the dark day.
Then bathroom boy flushes and walks out, pants around his knees. I get up to meet him in the hall and he puts on a fake face as if he was going to cry and says, "Mommy I got poop on my shirt." And he meant it- he got it on the FRONT of his shirt, scratches of it on both legs, a bit in his underwear and on his left hand. I'm thinking -what the hell got into the toilet. Not much, as I see there is crap on the seat in ways I've not seen him do before.
So I take his clothes off, careful not to get an shit on me-and the baby begins to cry from his chair in the kitchen not knowing where his family has gone to.
I usher the now naked but poopy kid into my shower.
As he is waiting for the water to go from ice to sauna he is stamping his feet. I over react and yell at him to stop- so of course he does it again and gets crap on my rug. Great. Into the shower he goes and as I clean his butt mounds of shit cake my hand and fall all over my bathtub floor. I start screaming "You're supposed to wipe first!" And the smarty pants that he is responds with: "I didn't know that." What? Why did he flush? The crap was on his body and he didn't wipe what the hell happened in there? He is potty trained so this was a tad bizarre.
Why doesn't this ever happen on Daddy's watch? I obviously need to leave him with the kids more often.
I' m hoping next week will read something like this: Mommy's birthday week- the house is perfect! No sickness, no crying , no whining, all smiles and fun. I'm thinking it will read like this:Mommy get's shit in her hair as a 30th birthday wish from her boys before throwing up on her in a restaurant where everyone was already staring because her kids are crazy. Yes, Yes, They need more Daddy time!
The following-week 2- we drove to Reno, played with friends in Tahoe, and had a great time in the area but 6 hours to and 5 hours fro with crying, whining kids was a personal infection of my own.
Week 3 the baby gets a double ear infection that turned into a chest infection 2 days later.
And now here we are at week 4: What do we get but a 3 year old with pneumonia. Unbelievable.
I had no idea. I actually told the kid that when he is sick he needs to look and act like it. I took him to the doctor because he said it felt like a little rock was in his ear- so I was thinking ear infection not serious chest infection. He was running! Good God I hope I notice if he ever gets anything more serious.
Here we are, inside the house trying to recuperate. I made lunch and the three year old went to the bathroom. I told him that his lunch was ready when he was and went about my way. The baby was busy snacking and it was a bit of sunshine in the dark day.
Then bathroom boy flushes and walks out, pants around his knees. I get up to meet him in the hall and he puts on a fake face as if he was going to cry and says, "Mommy I got poop on my shirt." And he meant it- he got it on the FRONT of his shirt, scratches of it on both legs, a bit in his underwear and on his left hand. I'm thinking -what the hell got into the toilet. Not much, as I see there is crap on the seat in ways I've not seen him do before.
So I take his clothes off, careful not to get an shit on me-and the baby begins to cry from his chair in the kitchen not knowing where his family has gone to.
I usher the now naked but poopy kid into my shower.
As he is waiting for the water to go from ice to sauna he is stamping his feet. I over react and yell at him to stop- so of course he does it again and gets crap on my rug. Great. Into the shower he goes and as I clean his butt mounds of shit cake my hand and fall all over my bathtub floor. I start screaming "You're supposed to wipe first!" And the smarty pants that he is responds with: "I didn't know that." What? Why did he flush? The crap was on his body and he didn't wipe what the hell happened in there? He is potty trained so this was a tad bizarre.
Why doesn't this ever happen on Daddy's watch? I obviously need to leave him with the kids more often.
I' m hoping next week will read something like this: Mommy's birthday week- the house is perfect! No sickness, no crying , no whining, all smiles and fun. I'm thinking it will read like this:Mommy get's shit in her hair as a 30th birthday wish from her boys before throwing up on her in a restaurant where everyone was already staring because her kids are crazy. Yes, Yes, They need more Daddy time!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Everyday
I just can't believe that a good day now includes being pooped on, having dinner flung on,getting a front tooth chipped and making a baby cry while holding him down to give him a breathing treatment. This is day, and everyday; it's my world and it is the norm. No yelling, spanking, kicking, screaming or anything that really stuck out as bad or difficult. I got to play on the floor with blocks, animals and fire engines. I didn't get mad at the tooth, the pants being dirty or the poop. It's the weirdest feeling.
On the other hand, working in a poop free environment is looking better everyday!
On the other hand, working in a poop free environment is looking better everyday!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
One cry and I lose my brain
All it takes is one thing and I lose my brain. All I had to do was leave my house ready to go to the gym. Sounds simple. But, it actually is otherwise impossible. My friend came over 1st to watch my kids so I could go to the gym and 2nd to hang out and watch some of our shows together and eat dinner. She is great! When hubby is away somethings are so much more difficult. As if the gym is the place I want to escape to- no that would be Nordstrom in my previous body with spending money or the spa for anything this size or otherwise! But, when I have to plan for it- it usually is a pain and something goes wrong.
This time I was the problem. Baby new I was leaving and cried. The crying sent my senses into a whirlwind and I lost track of what needed to be done. I started to feel like I looked like (can you keep up) a chicken with it's head cut off. The baby cried like he was in pain. I made it worse by having to refill my water bottle right behind him, and get my socks from my room past the hall where he could see me and just take too long to get the hell out of the house.
Once outside I thought my gym bra was in the dryer- I was wrong- so instead of dealing with crying baby 2009- I went without it (they're already sagging from breastfeeding- am I really doing more damage?
Half way to the gym I remember that I have not changed my tampon in a bit. I can't actually remember when I did change it last. So, it was probably time to do so- I search my purse- nope. Nothing.
At this point I just keep going.
Just a simple thing like sports bra and tampon can be the most difficult things to get right. Thank goodness my boobs are no longer the big D's and the gym had free tampons. You know if they were selling them I would probably find my wallet free of change. Naturally.
This time I was the problem. Baby new I was leaving and cried. The crying sent my senses into a whirlwind and I lost track of what needed to be done. I started to feel like I looked like (can you keep up) a chicken with it's head cut off. The baby cried like he was in pain. I made it worse by having to refill my water bottle right behind him, and get my socks from my room past the hall where he could see me and just take too long to get the hell out of the house.
Once outside I thought my gym bra was in the dryer- I was wrong- so instead of dealing with crying baby 2009- I went without it (they're already sagging from breastfeeding- am I really doing more damage?
Half way to the gym I remember that I have not changed my tampon in a bit. I can't actually remember when I did change it last. So, it was probably time to do so- I search my purse- nope. Nothing.
At this point I just keep going.
Just a simple thing like sports bra and tampon can be the most difficult things to get right. Thank goodness my boobs are no longer the big D's and the gym had free tampons. You know if they were selling them I would probably find my wallet free of change. Naturally.
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