Insanity

My lovely husband is very stressed out! He has no fuse, just calm one minute and monster mode the next. What happened? Is usually my first comment when this switch occurs. Upon his answer I usually roll my eyes or tell him to calm down. Doesn't much matter- it doesn't work and I don't think he is listening to my words or body language.
I am fed up with it!
It is making me go crazy!
I've watched this slow progression from happy guy to MR. Mean Mood over the course of a year. It just so happened to begin as we canceled his gym membership and kept traveling for work.
I cannot make the traveling part lessen- although I wish I could! But, I can "find" money to get him back to the gym.
So, I have decided that I rather be poor than pissed off and unhappy by Mr. Mean Moody.
Thus, I am getting online and signing him up. He can freely work out his mean mood at the gym.
Otherwise, I might need to follow through with one of my threats and actually cut the crotches out of his underwear. The thought of this makes me laugh every time!
But, helpful is not exactly what that act would lend to.
5 minutes later...
I signed him up, printed out his enrollment sheet and sent him out to the gym.
I hope this doesn't backfire!

More info of no importance

I have one husband, two sons and no patience!
The only way for me to get through my day is with coffee, wine or chocolate and all three make me ill- it's a sad existence. Unfortunately I don't have the necessary means to run to Prada or Target for that matter, every time I get pissy so caffeine is usually the key. Yes, it does make me sick. No, I can't quit it.
Breath, relax, take some time for yourself, make sure you get 7-8 hours of devoted sleep every night, drink plenty of water, smile, count your blessings blah, blah, blah this marriage and kids thing is hard! I don't really get a chance to do any of those things listed above, and I love to complain about it.
No, I don't want sympathy. I do love to hear empathic stories, aside from that I just like to bitch about it. It's how I cope and move on.
My truly great friends now how to have a good bitchfest as well as how to have a good time. I just wish they were present more often...but who has time for that with busy families and work?
I am fully aware that this is just apart of life, and it is ever changing. But, the amount of comedy I get from the frustrating days, at least after the day is over, is generally what keeps me going after the caffeine.
Today, my oldest didn't really have he right attitude before school so I stuck him in his AC/DC shirt and golf hate-at least he is dressing the part now.
My toddler drank half my iced pumpkin spice beverage of choice even though it isn't fall yet, while I was in the shower. Great, that is what I need a jumpy 2 year old with a caffeine buzz. Currently, he is slapping his leg while eating a banana- it's freakin' comedy!
Yes, I should have gotten up earlier to take my shower but I couldn't because that 7 hours of sleep I so desperately needed got taken away in the middle by a loud screaming sleeper, the same one who drank half my damn coffee today. Poor baby for the bad dream, but seconds later he was quietly asleep again and I was left with 3.5 hours of good sleep and 3.5 hours of worthless, not going to make you feel rested sleep.
Cupcakes after school today- why not?
I will need to clean the house at some point-grr. Husband is flying home tonight to not hear the waking children, not get up early enough to take the oldest to school and certainly not clean up after himself...ahh, I miss him during the week.

Tomorrows highlight: I chose a school that has coffee for the parents every Friday with pumpkin bars this week!!!!! Downfall, no kids allowed. Maybe, I can scoop up the big one and run out of the house before the husband figures out I have left the little one behind for him to watch while in one of several work meetings he will have over the course of the day. Hmmm. Maybe that will work. Hmmm. Maybe not, he tends to figure out my moves before I get them accomplished. Especially if he reads this.

Is Mother's Day over yet?

Now, most of us look forward to a day of pampering and mommy bliss. Queen for the day. But, we settle for whatever little creations our kids come up with and husbands remember.
My dad is not going so well. It isn't even lunch time yet and I'm pretty done with the day! My husband is on his way home from a trip. So, I am already a parent down. But, I decided to take the kids to breakfast-bagels, morning smoothies and coffee for mommy. I should have known that it wouldn't go right or even decent. It was definitely a mommy morning. Mommy rushing around, mommy getting dirty, mommy getting frazzled. No pampering!
This morning it decided to rain, putting a slight cramp in my vision. Eating our breakfast outside was not going to happen. After the bagel shop (and minor melt down by the preschooler) we walked 2 doors down to get Jamba Juice. That went pretty well, except for the toddler dashing out to the fountain in front of the plaza. Next, mommy's coffee.

The line in Starbucks was HUGE! I sat the kids down to drink their juice and eat their bagel while I stood in line for white chocolate coffee bliss! For the first 2 minutes, all was well. Then the toddler dug in to our bag, grabbed my bagel and dropped it out of the wax wrap onto the floor. As you can guess the shmear hit the floor.
Some woman jumped up to clean the floor and my bagel since I was in line. I left the line, I gathered my boys and bagels and hit the road. Well, not before she said she was helping because I was in line- mental smack. I wasn't giving up on my bagel so we went back and got myself a new one.
As we got in the car and loaded the toddler in his carseat, my preschooler started to laugh?
"What?"
"Your jacket?"
"What, I can't see-tell mommy!"
"You have cream cheese by your hood." Hehehehehe
Ahhh!

I get in the car, drive to a drive-thru Starbucks and get relief!
When we get home, I unpack kids, wash up and do a load of laundry.
I turn to tell the toddler not to go outside(my laundry is in my garage and have to step outside to enter the garage) and I slip on the water- smack my fingers on the door and hit my knee.
I am loving this day!!!
I guess I should have realized that just because it is Mother's Day I shouldn't really expect to get what I want or think I can pull everything off.
No husband, no warm bagel, doing chores, busy boy stuff that never goes right, I want to cry!
So, I called my mom! Thank goodness for moms!
Later today, dinner with the family at my uncles. I look forward- to help!
Happy Mother's Day!

Mommy Monday

Back again to Monday, in which I have renamed as Mommy Monday in the hope that I can reclaim another day of the week as a semi weekend day. We do mommy things- stay in our pajamas, not clean and just enjoy our day without taking it too seriously.
Today, it is Monday, but I can't claim it's very mommy friendly.
6am wake up by toddler,
7:30 I actually had to get out of bed and feed the boys.
I was in a good mood and I saw this as a positive in our day, aside from the early rise.
Make breakfast, get the boys back to playing and then enjoy my own cup of coffee.
Made a bowl of cereal for myself and my cup of java. Eat cereal and received...
"Mommy need you" by the toddler.
That led me to build a track with the kids so they could play and I could continue to drink my coffee. Microwaved the coffee 1st time.
Before I could get the coffee the boys shelves fell on each other and I had to screw them back into place, clean up the mess and organize the shelves again- with fewer things.
And then my coffee went back into the microwave for a 2nd time.
I took the recyclables out, took some items to the garage and returned to the kitchen to not get my coffee but clean the counter tops and sweep really quickly. Wrong about the quickly part. There was a snail crossing the floor. What the hell? Where did that come from? Ick! I tried to sweep it out and it got stuck in the track. After five minutes I finally got it back into the garden- I don't think it survived but I tried. 30 more seconds for the coffee- it exploded- I cleaned that up- technically this was the coffees 3rd time being microwaved.
On the way back to the room, I stopped in the playroom to turn off the light and feed the fish. Simple, but of course not, 1 of the 3 fish had died. It was swimming last night...so I grabbed the fish took it to the boys to say good-bye and flushed it.
Back to the microwave...time number 4.
Time 10:30am. Recap: make breakfast for boys, make train tracks, fix fallen shelves, clean playroom, take out recycling, sweep and clean counters, remove snail, feed fish, dispose of a fish, and microwave my coffee 4times before getting to drink it all. Not mommy Monday- mommy fix it day maybe, or just another day in our house. I don't think I can regain the lazy day as I have been bothered for hot chocolate and graham crackers 2 times while writing this, had to stop the toddler from taking down all the video game pieces and fix a ripped birthday card. Ugh!

Waking up

How do you wake up??
There are so many ways to wake up: kids giving you hugs, snuggling with you, the sun peeking through your window, kids playing nicely in the other room, even the alarm going off.

My day began in a different way.

Morning:
This morning I got hit in the temple with a dinosaur. This is not one of my acceptable forms of being woken up.

Mid-morning:
Dropped off papers for kiddo's school registration and the toddler yelled so ferociously when we attempted and then actually left, that the outdoor hallways were echoing with cries. Everyone stopped to take a look and I'm pretty sure the director took notes. *For future reference sibling is not allowed to attend for fear of staff and student hearing and sanity loss.

Afternoon:
Grocery shopping, we enter, kiddo hangs on the side, toddler in the seat up front while I am grabbing strawberries when I turn to see...the cart falling! The kiddo was still hanging on and the toddler was about to slam his head into the tile over concrete flooring and he couldn't get out. We were in the 1st of 2 stores and we had been there for less than 2 minutes! Safe but scared we ended up getting our shopping done with only one kiddo time-out in the dairy section, kiddo dropping one of the tasting foods in the aisle, toddler screaming because he didn't want to share the water and allowing an elderly person to cut in front of us without running over her heels or bumping her in the butt.

Evening:
As I was getting my kiddo out of his bath my little one walks in chewing, but on what? I asked him to spit it into my hand. He did and what did I get but melting chocolate and bright yellow aluminum foil. Then he ran away. Grrr! He took a bite of one of the Easter chocolates I bought for his cousin- he bit right through the foil! What a little chocolate ball! He had only been out of the bathroom for minutes.

****Last night they went to bed late because of being at my parents, woke up at the usual time, they had no nap and were dealing with errands for several hours in a row--I was testing the fates and came out alive but just barely!

Trip Away

So while we were away visiting friends a mommy moment occurred. Really, when don't mommy moments occur?
3 boys between the ages of 3&6 were using the same bathroom as my family, including one of those 3 boys. And while I was putting on my makeup one little boy used the potty in a hurry and peed all over the place, then tried to leave before flushing, and washing hands.
Very shortly after this, our hostess came in to use the bathroom (note: it is a two piece bathroom toilet and sinks are separated via a door) and was appalled! I kept my mouth shut! She called for all 3 boys to come to the toilet- only 2 came, mine included and I was happy because I knew what was about to happen. Although, the mess maker himself didn't come to listen- the others were told how to pee and what to do when they miss. Now, I let my son be privilege to this because, although this exact incident was not his fault I'm sure at some point on this visit it was/will be and at home it is a constant issue. I wanted him to get this speech from somebody else. I thought he might listen! She told them home to keep their stream in the toilet and if they miss to get one of the cleaner wipes and clean it up.
Well he did. He listened and took it to heart so much so that when our hostess was home he refused to go potty by himself and threw some crazy tantrums based on his feelings. This was a little price to pay for the gift I received when we returned home.
Back from a trip to Target-I purchased some non-toxic eco-wipes for the bathroom and went over how and why we use them. Since then, I have had a new bathroom cleaner. His shot has been perfected and he finds any excuse to use the cleaning wipes. I can't strand the smell of urine in the bathroom-if your not peeing the smell shouldn't be there! FINALLY! There is someone else helping me to eliminate it- the tiny tinkler himself.

Night Crawler

After a long day driving home I got the car unpacked, the kids settled and the into bed. After all the caffeine wore off sleep finally took over and bliss set in.
At least for an hour, then I woke to a disturbance.
I heard a plastic or acrylic sound being moved about just feet away from my bedroom window.
I startled away and froze. I don't really want to know what is out there. The desire to protect my kids took over and I grabbed the curtain open.
No moon, street light or glasses in sight so my vision was impaired. Was I really seeing something?
And then...his head titled down, mask and all and I knew exactly what was going on.
Like a frantic warrior I began to pelt my window as if it was capable of shooting out pellets.
I was angry and half asleep. With a wild rage I went off.
"Get out of my garden" I yelled as I wildly rapped on my window, damn raccoon!
Neighborhood animals were awake, my baby was crawling in my bed and the animal leaped off into one of my trees. And back to sleep I went.