Another poopy day!

Today was quite a day. My 3 year old some how ended up with pneumonia. Great! Just what I needed- more sickness. Week 1 -about a month ago- the baby got an ear infection.
The following-week 2- we drove to Reno, played with friends in Tahoe, and had a great time in the area but 6 hours to and 5 hours fro with crying, whining kids was a personal infection of my own.
Week 3 the baby gets a double ear infection that turned into a chest infection 2 days later.
And now here we are at week 4: What do we get but a 3 year old with pneumonia. Unbelievable.
I had no idea. I actually told the kid that when he is sick he needs to look and act like it. I took him to the doctor because he said it felt like a little rock was in his ear- so I was thinking ear infection not serious chest infection. He was running! Good God I hope I notice if he ever gets anything more serious.
Here we are, inside the house trying to recuperate. I made lunch and the three year old went to the bathroom. I told him that his lunch was ready when he was and went about my way. The baby was busy snacking and it was a bit of sunshine in the dark day.
Then bathroom boy flushes and walks out, pants around his knees. I get up to meet him in the hall and he puts on a fake face as if he was going to cry and says, "Mommy I got poop on my shirt." And he meant it- he got it on the FRONT of his shirt, scratches of it on both legs, a bit in his underwear and on his left hand. I'm thinking -what the hell got into the toilet. Not much, as I see there is crap on the seat in ways I've not seen him do before.
So I take his clothes off, careful not to get an shit on me-and the baby begins to cry from his chair in the kitchen not knowing where his family has gone to.
I usher the now naked but poopy kid into my shower.
As he is waiting for the water to go from ice to sauna he is stamping his feet. I over react and yell at him to stop- so of course he does it again and gets crap on my rug. Great. Into the shower he goes and as I clean his butt mounds of shit cake my hand and fall all over my bathtub floor. I start screaming "You're supposed to wipe first!" And the smarty pants that he is responds with: "I didn't know that." What? Why did he flush? The crap was on his body and he didn't wipe what the hell happened in there? He is potty trained so this was a tad bizarre.
Why doesn't this ever happen on Daddy's watch? I obviously need to leave him with the kids more often.
I' m hoping next week will read something like this: Mommy's birthday week- the house is perfect! No sickness, no crying , no whining, all smiles and fun. I'm thinking it will read like this:Mommy get's shit in her hair as a 30th birthday wish from her boys before throwing up on her in a restaurant where everyone was already staring because her kids are crazy. Yes, Yes, They need more Daddy time!