Oh Crap!

Again today, poop was to set the mood of our day.
After breakfast I took the baby for a diaper change. I put my hand inside the waist of his pants to ease them off his overfilled self when something felt warm and squishy. What ever could it be? I removed clump hand of poop. So disgusting. Why does this always happen? Last night I gave him a bath- this is an immediate flag for a poop catastrophe for the following day. But, I need to bathe the kid sometime.
It got all over his pants, legs and socks. It some how missed his onesie entirely. How is this possible?
Next thing I new he was kicking his legs up and his hands were smattered with crap. Every time he moved he got more crap on his hands, legs and socks. I couldn't keep up or figure out how it was happening. I even soiled the wipes container trying to get him clean quickly.
I cleaned him, undressed him and took him to my shower.
I dried him and wrapped him in a towel and set back to his room.
When we got to the changing table it was still spotted with poo. So, trying to keep the clean baby clean I quickly wiped down the changing table before setting him down.
I thought all was well- the poop flinging was over. That is when my monkey stands between my room and theirs points to the floor and says, "Look Mommy there's gigantic dinosaur poop on the floor." I had to do a double take. I slowly sauntered up to the blob of crap on the floor. Yes, indeed-y my baby made a gigantic dinosaur poop. But how did it get on the floor by the door? Was it stuck to him on the way to the room from the kitchen? From the shower? It just didn't make any sense. The changing table is 5 steps away from the door- how did it hold on so long? Was I touching it? It's like a barn this house. I just need some hay to scatter on the floor. It might save me some time on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. And with our carpet- fibers are already falling out by walking on it- it totally loves a scrubbing.
And at the opposite side of our day- no more poo accidents. But, that hay would have come in handy. My sister was in the living room, my mom holding the baby and pacing through our small house, I in the boys room getting their clothes ready for tomorrow and the monkey sitting in my bed waiting for his breathing treatment. I heard him talking about medicine and yell to him to wait for me- knowing that he can't get to it on his own. When I got in there I didn't notice anything until after his treatment had begun.
I walk to my bathroom to throw away a container and ...cross a lake of baby Tylenol. On my sink an empty container of his brothers medicine. He attempted to take it as his own- luckily he spilled it before he could add it to his machine. I thought I had tightened it and set it far enough back so it was out for reach. I was very wrong. So, again I was on my hands and knees scrubbing up carpet. I couldn't believe the little man had done that- he had the right timing- there were essentially 3 sets of 'mommy like' eyes on him and we all missed it. What a gigantic dinosaur poop!