Car Tripping

Is it the universe playing tricks on the lonely anxiety ridden mom traveling from one state to another with small, screaming children? It is my full belief that going to the grocery store is small stress test and traveling alone with them is... well like getting a pap smear after a car accident on a day when your checking account gets over drawn-all with a infant and toddler's rendition of "The Immigrant song" in the back ground- it sucks.

But, this is something I did with pleasure- sort of. It was my idea to go visit a dear friend. I thought we could commiserate. Although we did, there was far more than I anticipated going on- but that is another story, damn kids.

The drive there was a dream. The toddler ate the healthy packed snacks I made. The infant slept the entire way. Slower cars pulled out of my way. I drank just the right amount of caffeine to get to my destination. Well, the only snafu was pulling over on the side of the road- while the kids were sleeping- to pee without other travelers watching, but at least I had the beautiful El Dorado National forest views as my magazine.

But, the law of odds is easy one way - the hell the other. I know that is the fluffy way of putting it but I do love my kids.

We chose the same route, I feed the kids, I packed the car, I left the friends and we were set to go. Well, we made two minor stops on our route coffee and gasoline. In that 1.2 minute drive the baby was whaling like I had starved him for a week. So, I pumped gas and feed him the first bottle of the trip. The bottle I was hoping would be for a mid point or never like the way there. I did start feeding him in the coffee drive through and that just seemed to tease him. But, lucky for me the barista / cashier heard all the hollering and just felt the need to make a comment. The people of this small town love to comment- but like I said that's another story.

We were set and now 4 miles out of town the baby began to cry and cry and cry for 10 miles, we we're back in our own state before he fell asleep and I wasn't going to stop for anything.

This was the set up for the rest of the trip.

A car hit a dead raccoon which set it flying into my front end- I screamed- the toddler screamed from a sleep state and cried some nonsense for 5 minutes.

A big rig tire snapped, caught wind, slid under my rear passenger tire and scared the shit out of me. It made a very loud popping sound and then shout out behind the car like a feather in a wind storm.

We ate at a McDonald's in Stockton with no baby changing station and country music playing on the radio.

The baby cried all the way down 680. ALL THE WAY DOWN 680. All 32.3 miles of it- he cried and shrieked and cried.

I never got to hear the new song the dj's were talking about.

The house was 92 degrees when we got inside.

This is what a: pap smear, car accident, negative checking account, baby rendition of Led Zeppelin is like -ah does this count as vacation?