Is it bed time yet?

I've got a busy morning. Up 4 times last night with the baby- still unsure why. Four in my bed by 12:32 is not the most comfortable night sleep, when I got some. But, when I got up and began to chug a long I realized I had much to do before taking the kids to the 2's class.
I had to make or buy 12 cookies
Cut up, brown and put together dinner in the crock pot
Change the monkey
Feed the baby
Grab the library books- since it is on our way
Take a shower
Put gas in the car
Laundry
Breakfast maybe? Coffee for sure.
Less than 2 hours to accomplish it all
Yeah right!
No shower, or gas for the car, lovely ape changed the monkey- add a baby diaper change.
No problem I was smiling and all was well. Then the Ape left to work and...
Then the shit hit the fan!!!!!!!!!!
As I was trying to get dressed the baby got snippy then cranky, then nuts.
I got changed, put the baby in the car seat and he was rip roaring pissed! But, what could I do we were already late.
The monkey was watching a morning cartoon and when I reminded him that we needed to go to his class and I shut off the television...BOOM! He began crying and stomping.
2 kids- both crying their eyes out. The little one was even turning purple and choking on his saliva. What the hell! Why is this so damn difficult?
I grab them, pushing and screaming-me that is- and I grab my keys to get the garage door open. Why would my keys be attached to my key chain with the whole neighborhood echoing in shrill tears-why, why,WHY GOD, WHY!!!!!!!!!!
I have completely lost it.
Why when daddy was home everybody was just trucking along like the day was going to be great. But, as soon as he gets in his car it's like fucking Armageddon in here, and I'm not sure who the God character is being played by.
I find the keys, calm the monkey down, and deal with the purple faced baby.
We get in the garage, I manage to lose the keys again, and then we go.
The car ride is calming.
The class is usual. Half chaotic because of the one 2 year old who's constantly runs around and doesn't like to clean up- yes of course that would be my kid.
As we leave my gas light goes on- no problem the gas station is 1/4 mile away. Easy, except that for some reason it is shut down. Okay. 1/2 mile later the next gas station is also closed. W H A T? Lucky number 3 is open and close to us.
Lastly, at least so far, I cleaned, put the baby down for a nap, feed the monkey and was getting my piece of R and R - 1 minute in the bathroom with a book- yes this is my only daily time to myself. As soon as I get in there- my sister gets into my house. What does my monkey do when she asks: "Where's mommy?" The monkey runs into the hall, opens the bathroom door and yells "Right here!" And that was when my time to myself ended. I don't get to do anything by myself and thank God it was only my sister. Then the Ape called and added to my chore list. It's 3 o'clock is it bed time yet?