Again today, poop was to set the mood of our day.
After breakfast I took the baby for a diaper change. I put my hand inside the waist of his pants to ease them off his overfilled self when something felt warm and squishy. What ever could it be? I removed clump hand of poop. So disgusting. Why does this always happen? Last night I gave him a bath- this is an immediate flag for a poop catastrophe for the following day. But, I need to bathe the kid sometime.
It got all over his pants, legs and socks. It some how missed his onesie entirely. How is this possible?
Next thing I new he was kicking his legs up and his hands were smattered with crap. Every time he moved he got more crap on his hands, legs and socks. I couldn't keep up or figure out how it was happening. I even soiled the wipes container trying to get him clean quickly.
I cleaned him, undressed him and took him to my shower.
I dried him and wrapped him in a towel and set back to his room.
When we got to the changing table it was still spotted with poo. So, trying to keep the clean baby clean I quickly wiped down the changing table before setting him down.
I thought all was well- the poop flinging was over. That is when my monkey stands between my room and theirs points to the floor and says, "Look Mommy there's gigantic dinosaur poop on the floor." I had to do a double take. I slowly sauntered up to the blob of crap on the floor. Yes, indeed-y my baby made a gigantic dinosaur poop. But how did it get on the floor by the door? Was it stuck to him on the way to the room from the kitchen? From the shower? It just didn't make any sense. The changing table is 5 steps away from the door- how did it hold on so long? Was I touching it? It's like a barn this house. I just need some hay to scatter on the floor. It might save me some time on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. And with our carpet- fibers are already falling out by walking on it- it totally loves a scrubbing.
And at the opposite side of our day- no more poo accidents. But, that hay would have come in handy. My sister was in the living room, my mom holding the baby and pacing through our small house, I in the boys room getting their clothes ready for tomorrow and the monkey sitting in my bed waiting for his breathing treatment. I heard him talking about medicine and yell to him to wait for me- knowing that he can't get to it on his own. When I got in there I didn't notice anything until after his treatment had begun.
I walk to my bathroom to throw away a container and ...cross a lake of baby Tylenol. On my sink an empty container of his brothers medicine. He attempted to take it as his own- luckily he spilled it before he could add it to his machine. I thought I had tightened it and set it far enough back so it was out for reach. I was very wrong. So, again I was on my hands and knees scrubbing up carpet. I couldn't believe the little man had done that- he had the right timing- there were essentially 3 sets of 'mommy like' eyes on him and we all missed it. What a gigantic dinosaur poop!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Another poopy day!
Today was quite a day. My 3 year old some how ended up with pneumonia. Great! Just what I needed- more sickness. Week 1 -about a month ago- the baby got an ear infection.
The following-week 2- we drove to Reno, played with friends in Tahoe, and had a great time in the area but 6 hours to and 5 hours fro with crying, whining kids was a personal infection of my own.
Week 3 the baby gets a double ear infection that turned into a chest infection 2 days later.
And now here we are at week 4: What do we get but a 3 year old with pneumonia. Unbelievable.
I had no idea. I actually told the kid that when he is sick he needs to look and act like it. I took him to the doctor because he said it felt like a little rock was in his ear- so I was thinking ear infection not serious chest infection. He was running! Good God I hope I notice if he ever gets anything more serious.
Here we are, inside the house trying to recuperate. I made lunch and the three year old went to the bathroom. I told him that his lunch was ready when he was and went about my way. The baby was busy snacking and it was a bit of sunshine in the dark day.
Then bathroom boy flushes and walks out, pants around his knees. I get up to meet him in the hall and he puts on a fake face as if he was going to cry and says, "Mommy I got poop on my shirt." And he meant it- he got it on the FRONT of his shirt, scratches of it on both legs, a bit in his underwear and on his left hand. I'm thinking -what the hell got into the toilet. Not much, as I see there is crap on the seat in ways I've not seen him do before.
So I take his clothes off, careful not to get an shit on me-and the baby begins to cry from his chair in the kitchen not knowing where his family has gone to.
I usher the now naked but poopy kid into my shower.
As he is waiting for the water to go from ice to sauna he is stamping his feet. I over react and yell at him to stop- so of course he does it again and gets crap on my rug. Great. Into the shower he goes and as I clean his butt mounds of shit cake my hand and fall all over my bathtub floor. I start screaming "You're supposed to wipe first!" And the smarty pants that he is responds with: "I didn't know that." What? Why did he flush? The crap was on his body and he didn't wipe what the hell happened in there? He is potty trained so this was a tad bizarre.
Why doesn't this ever happen on Daddy's watch? I obviously need to leave him with the kids more often.
I' m hoping next week will read something like this: Mommy's birthday week- the house is perfect! No sickness, no crying , no whining, all smiles and fun. I'm thinking it will read like this:Mommy get's shit in her hair as a 30th birthday wish from her boys before throwing up on her in a restaurant where everyone was already staring because her kids are crazy. Yes, Yes, They need more Daddy time!
The following-week 2- we drove to Reno, played with friends in Tahoe, and had a great time in the area but 6 hours to and 5 hours fro with crying, whining kids was a personal infection of my own.
Week 3 the baby gets a double ear infection that turned into a chest infection 2 days later.
And now here we are at week 4: What do we get but a 3 year old with pneumonia. Unbelievable.
I had no idea. I actually told the kid that when he is sick he needs to look and act like it. I took him to the doctor because he said it felt like a little rock was in his ear- so I was thinking ear infection not serious chest infection. He was running! Good God I hope I notice if he ever gets anything more serious.
Here we are, inside the house trying to recuperate. I made lunch and the three year old went to the bathroom. I told him that his lunch was ready when he was and went about my way. The baby was busy snacking and it was a bit of sunshine in the dark day.
Then bathroom boy flushes and walks out, pants around his knees. I get up to meet him in the hall and he puts on a fake face as if he was going to cry and says, "Mommy I got poop on my shirt." And he meant it- he got it on the FRONT of his shirt, scratches of it on both legs, a bit in his underwear and on his left hand. I'm thinking -what the hell got into the toilet. Not much, as I see there is crap on the seat in ways I've not seen him do before.
So I take his clothes off, careful not to get an shit on me-and the baby begins to cry from his chair in the kitchen not knowing where his family has gone to.
I usher the now naked but poopy kid into my shower.
As he is waiting for the water to go from ice to sauna he is stamping his feet. I over react and yell at him to stop- so of course he does it again and gets crap on my rug. Great. Into the shower he goes and as I clean his butt mounds of shit cake my hand and fall all over my bathtub floor. I start screaming "You're supposed to wipe first!" And the smarty pants that he is responds with: "I didn't know that." What? Why did he flush? The crap was on his body and he didn't wipe what the hell happened in there? He is potty trained so this was a tad bizarre.
Why doesn't this ever happen on Daddy's watch? I obviously need to leave him with the kids more often.
I' m hoping next week will read something like this: Mommy's birthday week- the house is perfect! No sickness, no crying , no whining, all smiles and fun. I'm thinking it will read like this:Mommy get's shit in her hair as a 30th birthday wish from her boys before throwing up on her in a restaurant where everyone was already staring because her kids are crazy. Yes, Yes, They need more Daddy time!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Everyday
I just can't believe that a good day now includes being pooped on, having dinner flung on,getting a front tooth chipped and making a baby cry while holding him down to give him a breathing treatment. This is day, and everyday; it's my world and it is the norm. No yelling, spanking, kicking, screaming or anything that really stuck out as bad or difficult. I got to play on the floor with blocks, animals and fire engines. I didn't get mad at the tooth, the pants being dirty or the poop. It's the weirdest feeling.
On the other hand, working in a poop free environment is looking better everyday!
On the other hand, working in a poop free environment is looking better everyday!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
One cry and I lose my brain
All it takes is one thing and I lose my brain. All I had to do was leave my house ready to go to the gym. Sounds simple. But, it actually is otherwise impossible. My friend came over 1st to watch my kids so I could go to the gym and 2nd to hang out and watch some of our shows together and eat dinner. She is great! When hubby is away somethings are so much more difficult. As if the gym is the place I want to escape to- no that would be Nordstrom in my previous body with spending money or the spa for anything this size or otherwise! But, when I have to plan for it- it usually is a pain and something goes wrong.
This time I was the problem. Baby new I was leaving and cried. The crying sent my senses into a whirlwind and I lost track of what needed to be done. I started to feel like I looked like (can you keep up) a chicken with it's head cut off. The baby cried like he was in pain. I made it worse by having to refill my water bottle right behind him, and get my socks from my room past the hall where he could see me and just take too long to get the hell out of the house.
Once outside I thought my gym bra was in the dryer- I was wrong- so instead of dealing with crying baby 2009- I went without it (they're already sagging from breastfeeding- am I really doing more damage?
Half way to the gym I remember that I have not changed my tampon in a bit. I can't actually remember when I did change it last. So, it was probably time to do so- I search my purse- nope. Nothing.
At this point I just keep going.
Just a simple thing like sports bra and tampon can be the most difficult things to get right. Thank goodness my boobs are no longer the big D's and the gym had free tampons. You know if they were selling them I would probably find my wallet free of change. Naturally.
This time I was the problem. Baby new I was leaving and cried. The crying sent my senses into a whirlwind and I lost track of what needed to be done. I started to feel like I looked like (can you keep up) a chicken with it's head cut off. The baby cried like he was in pain. I made it worse by having to refill my water bottle right behind him, and get my socks from my room past the hall where he could see me and just take too long to get the hell out of the house.
Once outside I thought my gym bra was in the dryer- I was wrong- so instead of dealing with crying baby 2009- I went without it (they're already sagging from breastfeeding- am I really doing more damage?
Half way to the gym I remember that I have not changed my tampon in a bit. I can't actually remember when I did change it last. So, it was probably time to do so- I search my purse- nope. Nothing.
At this point I just keep going.
Just a simple thing like sports bra and tampon can be the most difficult things to get right. Thank goodness my boobs are no longer the big D's and the gym had free tampons. You know if they were selling them I would probably find my wallet free of change. Naturally.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Perception
I am almost always with the kids. It is rare that I don't have them to do such things as go grocery shopping, present shopping, taking the garbage out even taking a shower. They are always there. And 9 times out of 10 they one of them is being wacky. (By wacky I mean yelling crazy or crying or screaming.) Monday was no different. We went grocery shopping- just the three of us- in the light drizzle of the morning. I offered my toddler the fun cart, one in which he gets to drive. He was excited and as I was putting the baby in i was hoisting the diaper bag onto the cart floor, holding the baby, watching the toddler so he didn't run into the parking lot and some how put the cart cover on for the baby. I thought I was out of the way, and out of the rain when an older gentleman gets his cart and stops. Then he approaches us- in the past older gentleman have made not the best comments so I was ready to just ignore the old fellow- when he asked me if I needed any help. Of course I perked up right away, changed my voice from frustrated mommy to nice lady and smiled, said no thank you and continued with what I was doing. He then replied: "I don't know how you woman do it. It seems that you have so many more hands then us men." I needed that laugh. What a great way to start my day. Unfortunately that was my highlight as 2 minutes later the toddler didn't want that cart so we transferred to a regular one and 5 minutes after that and for the remainder of the shopping trip I had 1 baby who began to cry and 1 yelling toddler unhappy about his cart choice who eventually stopped screaming when I picked him up while feed a bottle to the baby and pushing the cart- I can totally see the many hands comment. I sometimes feel like Vishnu looks (without any religious affiliation). At this time he, the toddler, was so disraught over the cart situation and had bawled so much he proceeded to pee on me then tell me he hadn't while I was still holding him. With my grocery shopping 75% finished, I set him down, and finished shopping. I was not about to abandon cart at this late juncture no was I about to leave without a quarter of my needed items. We finished shopping him with wet pants that were completely undetectable and my with my large wet stain completely noticable.
Apparently, I needed more help that morning then I had thought.
Apparently, I needed more help that morning then I had thought.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Time
I don't have any.
I want time to pee without anyone calling for me, yelling for me, crying, screaming, coloring on the carpet or peeing on themselves.
When do I get time- between 9 pm and midnight. When I should be napping so as to be ready for the 2, 4:30 and 5am wakings. Not to mention the 3am "mommy" call to get into my bed. Although, I know for a fact he can get in by himself.
All I want for Christmas is a break.
And a clean house that doesn't smell like urine in bedroom corners and in the main bathroom.
And enough money left over at the end of the month to enjoy shopping somewhere aside from the regular cheap, buy one season, wear it, stain it, shrink it and throw it away the next.
And...peace and quiet time.
And my old body back with someone else's nose and children and a husband who enjoy seeing mommy happy instead of getting sheer delight in making me go bonkers.
Maybe I don't need time so much as an alcohol addiction or a housekeeper/nanny or a winning lottery ticket or the peanuts music playing the background of my life so I can just get up and dance by kicking my feet out randomly.
Nope, just more time...
And a margarita.
I want time to pee without anyone calling for me, yelling for me, crying, screaming, coloring on the carpet or peeing on themselves.
When do I get time- between 9 pm and midnight. When I should be napping so as to be ready for the 2, 4:30 and 5am wakings. Not to mention the 3am "mommy" call to get into my bed. Although, I know for a fact he can get in by himself.
All I want for Christmas is a break.
And a clean house that doesn't smell like urine in bedroom corners and in the main bathroom.
And enough money left over at the end of the month to enjoy shopping somewhere aside from the regular cheap, buy one season, wear it, stain it, shrink it and throw it away the next.
And...peace and quiet time.
And my old body back with someone else's nose and children and a husband who enjoy seeing mommy happy instead of getting sheer delight in making me go bonkers.
Maybe I don't need time so much as an alcohol addiction or a housekeeper/nanny or a winning lottery ticket or the peanuts music playing the background of my life so I can just get up and dance by kicking my feet out randomly.
Nope, just more time...
And a margarita.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Is it bed time yet?
I've got a busy morning. Up 4 times last night with the baby- still unsure why. Four in my bed by 12:32 is not the most comfortable night sleep, when I got some. But, when I got up and began to chug a long I realized I had much to do before taking the kids to the 2's class.
I had to make or buy 12 cookies
Cut up, brown and put together dinner in the crock pot
Change the monkey
Feed the baby
Grab the library books- since it is on our way
Take a shower
Put gas in the car
Laundry
Breakfast maybe? Coffee for sure.
Less than 2 hours to accomplish it all
Yeah right!
No shower, or gas for the car, lovely ape changed the monkey- add a baby diaper change.
No problem I was smiling and all was well. Then the Ape left to work and...
Then the shit hit the fan!!!!!!!!!!
As I was trying to get dressed the baby got snippy then cranky, then nuts.
I got changed, put the baby in the car seat and he was rip roaring pissed! But, what could I do we were already late.
The monkey was watching a morning cartoon and when I reminded him that we needed to go to his class and I shut off the television...BOOM! He began crying and stomping.
2 kids- both crying their eyes out. The little one was even turning purple and choking on his saliva. What the hell! Why is this so damn difficult?
I grab them, pushing and screaming-me that is- and I grab my keys to get the garage door open. Why would my keys be attached to my key chain with the whole neighborhood echoing in shrill tears-why, why,WHY GOD, WHY!!!!!!!!!!
I have completely lost it.
Why when daddy was home everybody was just trucking along like the day was going to be great. But, as soon as he gets in his car it's like fucking Armageddon in here, and I'm not sure who the God character is being played by.
I find the keys, calm the monkey down, and deal with the purple faced baby.
We get in the garage, I manage to lose the keys again, and then we go.
The car ride is calming.
The class is usual. Half chaotic because of the one 2 year old who's constantly runs around and doesn't like to clean up- yes of course that would be my kid.
As we leave my gas light goes on- no problem the gas station is 1/4 mile away. Easy, except that for some reason it is shut down. Okay. 1/2 mile later the next gas station is also closed. W H A T? Lucky number 3 is open and close to us.
Lastly, at least so far, I cleaned, put the baby down for a nap, feed the monkey and was getting my piece of R and R - 1 minute in the bathroom with a book- yes this is my only daily time to myself. As soon as I get in there- my sister gets into my house. What does my monkey do when she asks: "Where's mommy?" The monkey runs into the hall, opens the bathroom door and yells "Right here!" And that was when my time to myself ended. I don't get to do anything by myself and thank God it was only my sister. Then the Ape called and added to my chore list. It's 3 o'clock is it bed time yet?
I had to make or buy 12 cookies
Cut up, brown and put together dinner in the crock pot
Change the monkey
Feed the baby
Grab the library books- since it is on our way
Take a shower
Put gas in the car
Laundry
Breakfast maybe? Coffee for sure.
Less than 2 hours to accomplish it all
Yeah right!
No shower, or gas for the car, lovely ape changed the monkey- add a baby diaper change.
No problem I was smiling and all was well. Then the Ape left to work and...
Then the shit hit the fan!!!!!!!!!!
As I was trying to get dressed the baby got snippy then cranky, then nuts.
I got changed, put the baby in the car seat and he was rip roaring pissed! But, what could I do we were already late.
The monkey was watching a morning cartoon and when I reminded him that we needed to go to his class and I shut off the television...BOOM! He began crying and stomping.
2 kids- both crying their eyes out. The little one was even turning purple and choking on his saliva. What the hell! Why is this so damn difficult?
I grab them, pushing and screaming-me that is- and I grab my keys to get the garage door open. Why would my keys be attached to my key chain with the whole neighborhood echoing in shrill tears-why, why,WHY GOD, WHY!!!!!!!!!!
I have completely lost it.
Why when daddy was home everybody was just trucking along like the day was going to be great. But, as soon as he gets in his car it's like fucking Armageddon in here, and I'm not sure who the God character is being played by.
I find the keys, calm the monkey down, and deal with the purple faced baby.
We get in the garage, I manage to lose the keys again, and then we go.
The car ride is calming.
The class is usual. Half chaotic because of the one 2 year old who's constantly runs around and doesn't like to clean up- yes of course that would be my kid.
As we leave my gas light goes on- no problem the gas station is 1/4 mile away. Easy, except that for some reason it is shut down. Okay. 1/2 mile later the next gas station is also closed. W H A T? Lucky number 3 is open and close to us.
Lastly, at least so far, I cleaned, put the baby down for a nap, feed the monkey and was getting my piece of R and R - 1 minute in the bathroom with a book- yes this is my only daily time to myself. As soon as I get in there- my sister gets into my house. What does my monkey do when she asks: "Where's mommy?" The monkey runs into the hall, opens the bathroom door and yells "Right here!" And that was when my time to myself ended. I don't get to do anything by myself and thank God it was only my sister. Then the Ape called and added to my chore list. It's 3 o'clock is it bed time yet?
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